When a person applies for a job within a government organization are they asked the question, "If you are not stupid, slow, and incompetent, are you at least willing to act that way while on the job?"
The exception, of course, would be the IRS. I would never want to pick on IRS employees, and this is not for fear of retribution. The IRS is well known for their fair mindedness and being the farthest from a vindictive organization. So, in the interest of fairness I won't say that a typical IRS employee uses less judgment than a dog owner letting Michael Vick dog-sit their pit bull puppy. Nor would I say that getting actual help on your taxes when you call the IRS 800 number is about as likely to happen as getting Obama to veto a spending bill. And, lastly, I would never say that opening up to an IRS agent would make me feel about as safe as being a bottle of scotch in Ted Kennedy's liquor cabinet.
Clearly, I would never say any of those things. And even more clearly, let me state, emphatically, that I have never even fudged a little bit on my taxes and, in fact, generally overpay the IRS just because I think so highly of them as a group of esteemed individuals.
That said, let's move on from the IRS and pick on other government employees instead.
If you want to have more fun than anticipating AND experiencing your next prostate exam go stand in line at a typical government organization. Then try not to get ticked off as the line continues to get longer and then the worker in your line puts a closed sign in their window because it's time for their break. Suddenly the frustration builds and you begin to actually appreciate those city workers you see leaning on their shovels every time you drive by.
Of course, no discussion of government employees who are inept, inconsiderate, incompetent, idiotic, deficient, improper, inefficient, unqualified, inane, (hold on let me get my thesaurus) immoral, inaccurate, erroneous, bloated, inexcusable, and just plain stupid - oh darn, I went and gave it away - naturally, by now you know that I am talking about Congress. Yes, they are government employees even though they like to believe we work for them. When you think about who makes the laws in our country it kind of makes it easier to understand why Medicare covers Viagra, if you get my meaning.
I saw in the paper the other day that Harry Reid said the Republicans are slowing things down on getting legislation passed... and he thinks this is a bad thing? Congress NOT passing a plethora of stupid laws!!! I think that would go down as one of the greatest things to happen to our country since the postal system replaced the Pony Express... no wait a minute... ah never mind, we'll give the USPS the benefit of the doubt on that one.
When you consider the majority of the men and women in Congress were attorneys before they got into government it sheds some light on that subject, doesn't it? With apologies to Mathew Perry's Chandler character on "Friends", "could there BE two more hated professions?" Not unless you want to mix in a few IRS agents (who, by the way, I have the utmost respect for). A lawyer is probably a little bit better off professionally, spiritually, and in every other way than a congressperson, which means they have to go downhill from lawyerdom to get into Congress. That is akin to asking for another brain operation after you just received a lobotomy.
Then there is the FDA (which apparently stands for For Drugs Always) who even Congress has been critical of lately...does it get any worse than that? Actually, I believe the FDA is a wonderful organization is you are a major stockholder in a pharmaceutical company.
To sum it all up, I can't say that all government employees are bad. Every group has both good and bad, and let me be perfectly clear that in the next tax season anyone looking at my tax returns is of the highest caliber being I ever met (that worked in a government organization).
Author Resource:-
Steve Yeich is a humor writer with over 25 years of experience. He has written jokes for numerous comedians who have performed on the Las Vegas strip, most notably Jay Leno and Joan Rivers. He has done various forms of script writing including for movies and TV. He has also written over 100 TV and radio commercials. To see more of his articles go to http://darnfunnyonline.com
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